Mountain Biking Death Road

8:30am

Yesterday we paid 370bs ($57au) to put our lives on the line and mountain bike down Death Road. DEATH road. DEATH.

 

I haven’t told mum (sorry mama) but I let Beth know, sent her a message telling her I loved them all so she’s probably shitting herself. Or she’s hungover and doesn’t care. I’d say the latter.

WTF was I thinking? I’ve obviously spent way to much time around boys lately.

Anyway, it’s 8:30am, we were up at 6 to get to the place by 7 where I was fitted out in the sexiest outfit of all time. And a helmet. Don’t they know I don’t do hats?

 

We’ve had a quick breakfast and made some new friends, Matt & Kate, and I’ve latched onto Kate hoping she’ll go slow with me ;)!

 

Matt just said to me: “If you’re out of control, just jump off. Don’t try to correct yourself. A scrape is better than going over the edge of a cliff”. Yeah, um, thanks for that sound advice.

So in about 1 hour I’ll be hurtling (walking my bike) down a road on the way to the ‘Deathly’ part.

Lord have mercy.

9:00am
I need to wee.

11:30
We just stopped for a snack and I finally got to pee. For 1 Boliviano, there were no doors on the toilets and I think I got herpes, again. But at least I got to go!!

So far it’s not been too bad! I didn’t walk my bike at all, although I started out a bit nervous, but it’s been on bitumen thus far and it wasn’t long till I was whizzing down the road with the breaks on only a little! Ok, so I was the last person that each stop but at least I was picking up speed and feeling more confident.

But then, the last 100m was on gravel ‘much like the death road’ our guide says, and I nearly ate rocks about 3 times. Fuck.

Right now were on the bus again for an 8km ascent before the Deathly part happens.

Jessica Williams and the Deathly Road – here we go.

12pm
We’ve just pulled onto Death Road. Fuck me dead.

12:03pm
Good lord what was I thinking!!

1:30pm
I fucking hate this.

2:50pm
I made it. I survived, just.

3:00pm
Ok so I’ve had time to rest, hand back my stuff. And reassess my choices.

Right now I am wet through, we rode in the rain and through rivers! I’m sore, my fingers are stuck in the breaking position, my arms vibrated the entire time and are sore from gripping, my shoulders are killing me. And my poor poor fanny.

The first part of the actual Death Road was hell. Pure get wrenching fear took over and I was so close to tears. Poor Matt had to ride at the back with his silly girlfriend and so missed out on killing himself (he can thank me any time he likes). We stopped and I asked how far we had come. 8km’s of the 31. If ever I thought it appropriate to say FML it was then.

The next part was equally as scary, it was raining, it was so gravelly, and rocky and steep. And the drop to the left is so sheer. We were 4700m above sea level and the drop was 600m. And you have to keep to the left. You have to keep to the WHERE? You mean I CAN’T HUG THE CLIFF WALL. ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING ME. Lucky it was foggy and I couldn’t see my impending doom, or perhaps not so lucky.

We had a break again, I was the last to the group as usual, and then we set off for the second half. This time I seemed to get the hang of it a bit and felt more confident, but not that confident, I did pick up a little speed and stopped looking like this:

 

I even stood up for a while, not out of some new found mountain biking skills but out of necessity. My fanny was getting a pounding.

There was mud all up my back, all on the stupid massive coat I’ve been carrying around for the few small weeks that we will be cold and my only shoes and jeans were saturated

But I was alive!!

 

We stopped a few more times and on these occasions I was not the last to rejoin the group. Now we’re awaiting our buffet lunch which I imagine will be amazing.

In the end the only thing that kept me on that bike was the thought of having to go in the mini bus to drive the rest of the Death Road. No way.

Jess 1 | Death Road 0, sort of.

Sadly, we have left Brazil and we are now in Santa Cruz, Bolivia. We’ve left World Cup fever behind, but we’re still suffering mild symptoms.

Being in Brazil while the World Cup was on was one of the most exciting and drunken times of my life! I have never yelled the words ‘oh GO SON’ so frequently, nor participated in so many Mexican Waves!!

Who would have thought that I, Jessica Williams, would have been standing up yelling at the TV in an Irish Pub in Bolivia as France nearly score a goal against Germany to level the scores in the last 10 seconds of the match? Well I did. And then I nearly cried when Greizemann was crying after the game and all the other French players were hugging him. I would definitely have hugged him too. Definitely.

So in recapping our World Cup so far:

Spain v Netherlands

Spain v Netherlands was our first game and my first World Cup experience. We left our apartment in Barra, Salvador about 3 hours before the game, unsure about how we would get there. We walked to a bus stop and stood in front of un-moving traffic for about 10 mins before deciding this didn’t look good for us.

Plan B was to try for a Taxi, but they were all full and also in the unmoving traffic. This was not going well.

Plan C was to walk the 4k’s to the stadium, in the heat and hope for no down pour. Little did we know the first quarter of the walk was uphill and in full sun. It was f**cking hard work. When we finally reached level ground and shade we saw a Maccas, and unsure if it was a mirage, we sweatily and hesitantly walked in. Hallelujah! It was real! After two big cokes and a small rest in the air conditioning we continued our journey. Lucky for us the remainder of the walk was well shaded and flat and we only got a little bit rained on. This was especially lucky as I’d just spent 2 hours blow drying my hair with my 240v hairdryer in a 110v socket. Hmmm.

We eventually met up with the rest of the fans on the ‘Fan Walk’ and it started to get really exciting! After finding our seats (in the VERY back row of the stadium) we went in search of beer! Sadly, very sadly, the whole of the third level of the stadium was WITHOUT BEER. Yes, they could not serve us BEER, or anything for that matter, and as a result the other two levels were absolute chaos. Not willing to miss kick off and my first chance of seeing my Darling, we went sober for the first half (Torres for any silly person who didn’t get that).

At half time, after a very exciting first half, we went in search of beer, and found some!!!

We decided to watch the second half from behind a row in the second tier and this is where we met the very excitable Diogo, he was from São Paulo but in Salvador for the World Cup!

After the game we quickly found somewhere to watch the Australia game and then home to bed to sleep off all the excitement!

Spain 1 | Netherlands 5
I was barracking for Spain. Damn.

Germany v Portugal

Next up was Germany v Portugal. We bit the bullet this time,went straight for Plan C and walked to the stadium. This time the incline didn’t seem so bad, knowing that there was light (Maccas) at the end of the tunnel (the very steep hill in full sunlight).

I was quite excited to see Ronaldo, the Kanye of soccer; you love to hate him, and I did see him walk around and do sweet FA all game. Typical. Before the match (actually before every match) Matt filled me in on ‘the goss’ or what he would more likely term ‘the needs to know’ about the certain players we were seeing. On this occasion he was telling me about Pepe, who is a dirty, dirty player! And not the X-Tina Dirrty that I was hoping for. He didn’t come out in assless chaps. Instead Pepe lived up to his reputation by head butting a German player and thus being red carded! Exciting!

It was not to be for the Portuguese with Germany coming out on top.

Germany 4 | Portugal 0
I was barracking for Portugal. Boo.

France v Switzerland

By France v Switzerland, my enthusiasm was beginning to wane, every team I was barracking for for was losing. Also, you see, so far I have only mentioned the games we saw live but as there were 3 games per day I have neglected to mention all the games we had watched in the various bars of Barra.

I’d watched:
Brazil v Croatia
Chile v Australia
England v Italy
Argentina v Bosnia
Ghana v USA
Brazil v Mexico
Uruguay v England

So, as some of you can understand… I was getting a little over it.

We walked (with of course a post mountain Maccas Coke stop) and I was once again sweaty and tired and really in need of some gal time. Or more accurately in need of some time doing something that wasn’t football. Shopping, probably some shopping.

The game starts and the French go wild. I have an affinity for the French after studying it for so many years at School and Uni so I was barracking for them at this match. Out of nowhere, it was so exciting! Mainly because a team I was going for was FINALLY WINNING!!!! Every goal saw me jumping out of my seat screaming and I happily chanting Allez Les Bleus along with the other French supporters. We had three crazy French supporters going mental in our row and when Switzerland finally got a goal, they cheered a long as well as the game was just so enjoyable! Excitement regained!!!

France 5 | Switzerland 2
I was happily barracking for FRANCE

For those mathematical genius’ at home, you are right; that’s 17 goals in 3 games!!!

Australia v Spain
Next up was the icing on the cake for me. Not only was I finally seeing our boys play, but it was another chance to see Torres!

We left sunny (muggy) Salvador and arrived in cold Curitiba. After the fun and party atmosphere of Salvador, Curitiba seemed boring. With Matt being sick it was even more boring.

But, we were meeting up with friends from home and seeing another game. Plus I’d found out where the Spanish team were staying so things were definitely looking up!

Sweet Wes not only bought me some Vegemite, but he also agreed to come for a walk with me to their hotel with me while poor Matt slept off his sickness. Unfortunately (for Torres) there didn’t appear to be a way in.

On the morning of the game we got dressed and met up with the rest of the crew. And this happened:

Yes that is Matt in a 1996 Men’s Olympic Hockyroos training body suit. On the walk to the stadium after he took off his over clothes he was stopped regularly for photos and was the envy of a lot of fellow Aussies. Yeah I don’t get it either.

We arrived at the game and had far better seats than our last three games! I was so close to Torres!! At one point his shirt was torn and the ref made him swap it and he did it RIGHT ON THE FIELD. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE.

Before the game I swore not to get involved in any Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi’ing but I lost control and Oi Oi Oi’d along with everyone else. I even got a verse of Waltzing Matilda going. Ok so only Matt joined in, but I still started it!!!

We might have lost but we won in my heart! What a game! Oh and Torres scored so I also was happy with that. LOVE YOU TORRES!!

 

Australia 0 | Spain 3
Of course I was going for Australia.

Ecuador v France

Next up we went to Rio. Let’s side step the football for a moment to talk about Rio! Rio was more than I had ever expected!!! Copacabana and Ipanema beaches were unreal! The water is beautiful and everything you could ever desire was being hawked up and down the beach: bathers, sarongs, beers, water, weed, coke….(the drinking kind of course Mama)! Anything.

We went to Lapa a few times where we partied a bit too hard until the wee hours of the morning in bars that sort of seemed to merge in the streets into one big party! 

We went up Sugarloaf for some amazing views and visited old mate Christ on top of Corcovado. Christ the Redeemer was unbelievable. Could almost have made a believer out of this agnostic. Almost.

At Sugarloaf we had the best luck. After going first to Christ the Redeemer on the first Football Free Day since the start of the Cup (dumb!) and seeing that we wouldn’t get in for another 6 hours we decided to do that another time. We got in a cab and made our way to to Sugarloaf, only to find s similar situation with a line that went in for so long, we couldn’t see the end. No word of a lie there were thousands of people lining up. Enter Rodolfo. A rather large man approaches us (my friend Jarryd, Matt and I) and asks if we’d like to go to the front of the line. No Rodolfo, we really want to wait in the hot sun for what looks like forever. He says for $50 Real ($25Au) he will get us in. The three of us look sceptically at each other and back at him. He says he’s telling the truth. He’s a tour guide and he can get us in for $50. No tricks. No scams. After discovering it would be $50 for all of us we decided to take a gamble. He marches us up to the start of the line, gives $30 to the lady at the ticket booth and keeps $20, we pay for our tickets and we are in. We could NOT believe it!!!! How did that happen! 

And as an added bonus when we were in we barely lined up for any of the cable cars (you take a cable car to the top of one peak and then another to the next) but when we were leaving the lines for the cable cars themselves were out of control!! What bloody luck!!!

But back to the football. Decked out in our new French Jersey’s (mine a Large Boys, hmmm), we got to see France again at the infamous Maracanã (or Macarena) and once again get involved in the atmosphere as both the French and Ecuadorians sang their little hearts out. Unfortunately it was a bit of a boring game, France were already through to the next round, and it was a nil all draw. But the real winner was football, or was it me as I made my debut on ‘Girls of the World Cups’ Instagram page?? Ha!

France 0 | Ecuador 0

Belgium v USA

Back to Salvador where we got to see a Round of 16. Clearly I was going for Belgium (Hazard plays for them, I like Belgium chocolate and also USA sucks).

It was at this match that I pulled out this ripper; while sitting in our seats a guy approached us to walk past to get to his seat and apologised for making us move, he was wearing a Manchester United Shirt, I said “You should be more sorry you go for Man U”. Fecking winner. It was also where I yelled out “ya’d wanna get there ya dick head”. Wow, what had gotten into me me?! Oh I know, I had watched approximately 1350 minutes of football so far!!!!!

Belgium 2 | USA 1

And that was it, the next day we flew here to Santa Cruz where we are chilling out in a lovely hotel for a few days before getting back on the back packing track.

Brazil was everything we could have hoped for and the World Cup was more than I could have imagined! We made some fantastic new friends, met up with some old ones from home and some ones we’d met a long the way. Drank waaaaaaay to many beers and rum. Got a sweet tan (well I did anyway!). And much much more!!

Now to watch the rest of the cup in various other countries!!

Missing home and my Cat, Family and Friends…. Hope Adelaide weather isn’t too shitty!!! Tomorrow we leave for La Paz  and really hope we don’t get altitude sickness!!!

xxxx ❤ xxxx