When we started our trip we had a vague plan up until we finished the San Blas island tour, but nothing planed until our last three weeks in the US.

So it was a surprise to us both when we boarded our Business Class flight to Guatemala to see my friend from Uni Ryan.

Ryan and I have known each other for about 7 years after we met briefly in a class at Uni, neither of us can recall the class but we both remember a really shit group assignment that bought us together and that’s about it! And also this annoying girl called Jade.

 

Ryan is living in Antigua learning Spanish and after a few Facebook conversations with him, Matt and I decide to go see what Antigua was all about!

We landed and after the quickest and most pleasant customs, so quick and easy we didn’t realise it was over until we were outside the airport, we were pleasantly surprised by Ryan! We drove the 40mins from Guatemala City to Antigua and quickly noted the uniqueness of this UNESCO World Hertiage City, with its cobbled stone streets, hand painted signage, pastel coloured buildings and the volcanos that surround it. Including one active one!!

We were staying at Ryan’s place for a few nights before heading out of town to Lake Atitlan.

After a short bus trip (this one was only 4 hours) we arrived at a town called Panajchal where we hopped on a boat to our first town, San Pedro.

San Pedro is the ‘Party town’ of the lake. The lake itself is a huge body of water literally ringed by dormant volcanos.

The hostel was putting on a quiz show that evening so after a quick meal and 4 rums each at dinner, we joined a group and spent the night losing and boozing.

 

A little too much boozing it would seem as after hopping on the boat to our next destination, Santa Cruz, we all fell asleep in the TV room watching Armageddon.

Santa Cruz was much more relaxed than San Pedro, there were hippie folk everywhere. The hostel we were staying at was having it’s weekly Cross Dressing party that night, but instead of partaking, we went and napped (again) in the TV room.

After our shocking efforts the day before, we decided to hire kayaks and paddle to a cliff where we could jump off into the unknown depths of the lake.

 

Matt and Ryan, testosterone practically shining through their pores, climbed higher and higher each jump, while I played the scared photographer.

 

 

 

This is what it looked like when I jumped:

 

Ryan offered to wait in the water for me so he could help me get out, Matt offered to hold my hand and jump in with me. Still I did not jump. The fear of plunging into the absolute unknown freaked me out too much. What if there was a lake shark? Lake so sharks exist.

After a fair bit of coaxing, cajoling, and some “It’s ok, you don’t have to do it” I jumped off this tiny ledge, and practically broke my leg trying to clamber back up the rocks, as quickly as I could. At least there was photo evidence that I jumped in!

 

That afternoon we bused it back to Antigua where we would stay for another night before making our way to Flores to see Tikal.

Matt and I, much accustomed to the rigours and (un)comforts of travelling opted for the cheaper mode of transport and took the overnight bus. Ryan, who is a pussy bitch, flew.

When we got to the bus station at 9pm for our 10pm bus I decided to take a Dramamine for travel sickness as I had been experiencing it of late. Little did I know it would knock me out and within 15mins I was asleep in the bus station. Matt had to wake me up to get on the bus where I promptly fell back to sleep. The bus was FREEZING however and about 6 hours later I woke up a solid Popsicle.

We met Ryan early the next morning and caught another bus to the Mayan Ruins of Tikal.

Tikal was amazing, and as we wandered (sweated) around the ruins we saw monkeys swinging through the trees!

 

That night we walked around the beautiful island town of Flores and the morning took another bus to Lanquin to visit the stunning Semuc Champey! This bus was not so comfortable. Crammed in the back with my knees around my ears, I sweated buckets. Eight hours later we arrived and Lanquin and had to get a 40 min ride to our Hostel on the back of a ute, standing up, on dirt roads with 18 other people. Yep 18.

Thankfully the Hostel was lovely, albeit vegetarian. It was built on stilts and consisted of a massive open deck and a mezzanine level where the bunks were, all completely open to the elements. And the scorpions….

We arrange a tour the next morning that started with some caving. We were handed a candle (a candle!) and told to head into the darkness being careful of where we stepped. After receiving some stunning face markings from our guide, we were off into the depths of the cave where at some points you had to swim (limbs in so you didn’t hit unseen rocks) holding your candle above water.

We climber up a gushing waterfall, waited while some people jumped from a rock overhang into a very small pool beneath it (Matt and Ryan did it. I did not) and then were dropped DOWN a waterfall between two very close rocks.

 

After this we walked up a big hill. It was disgustingly hot and as we neared the top we were all cursing the need to walk up and also fearing a bit for our lives as the howler monkeys above us screamed their little hearts out. They are scary mother fuckers.

But eventually we reached the top and it was worth every drop of sweat and aching limb!

 

After the climb down we got to swim in the beautiful limestone pools.

 

To get home we had opted to tube down the river to our hostel. What was meant to be a nice, easy, quiet tubing session ended up becoming a life and death situation.

 

At the first set of rapids I casually bumped over them, Matt seeing the joy in my face decided to follow my path but instead his bum smacked into a rock and he dramatically flipped out of his tube and proceeded to a smash from rock to rock on his back.

Instinct kicked in as I paddled, against the flow, to retrieve him and his tube. Arms burning I paddled and paddled trying not to fall in myself and grabbed his arm and hauled him back onto his tube but not before I could see the damage he had done. Yikes. I decided to keep it to myself for now. He didn’t need to know he had torn his back to shreds just yet.

On we went and I kept a close eye on my retarded boyfriend (he asked me not to refer to him as retarded but this is MY blog) and eventually made it back, where I then took a photo and showed him his injuries. Ouch.

 

But that was not to be the worst incident that night. Casually enjoying a drink after a long day a ‘cockroach’ approached one of our drinks, as Matt went to shoo it away we noticed it was A SCORPION. And that was it for me, I had the worst night sleep, even thought I rolled up and down my bed to squash any scorpions.

 

The next day we enjoyed another bus ride back to Antigua. Yay buses.

The last few days in Antigua I spent sick, and then some asshole stole my Chanel No. 5 out of my toiletries bag and Ryan made us climb this really steep hill.

We also spent hours trying to figure out the cheapest way out of Antigua to Mexico. The end result was two buses, one overnight to Flores (the exact one we had ALREADY taken) and a day bus to Chetumal.

After we missed the first bus (not our fault) quickly paid to hop on the next (there was no air conditioning this time) arrived in Flores with no idea where the next bus left from, eventually found the bus (it was 1.5 seat for 2 people), paid $30 for the 6 hours we drove through Belize, we eventually arrived at a grubby hotel in an up-market version of Turbo.

But the shower was great and the air conditioning freezing. The next morning we hopped on a bus for Tulum!